Elizabeth Crook is a strategist, game changer, and re-invention expert. She has been the CEO of Orchard Advisors for over 20 years, helping CEO’s grow their bottom line and have more fun. She believes if everyone had the work and life they love, we could change the world!
Her book Live Large –The Achiever’s Guide to What’s Next (Greenleaf Book Group) will be released May 2017.
Playing Small Moment
Elizabeth experienced a playing small moment while living in Venezuela. A woman mentor pointed out that every time Elizabeth offered up her opinion she started by saying “I might be wrong but…” Elizabeth realized she undervalued her own perspective.
The Wake Up Call
Elizabeth frequently created unnecessary resistance in situations because she was desperate for the approval of others. Her wake up call was progressive and evolved over many years of self-realization.
Style of Leadership
Elizabeth describes her leadership style as a listener and constant learner. This keeps her ideas fresh and allows her to offer a different point of view to those she leads.
What Are You Excited About?
Elizabeth finds it consistently exciting to show her clients how they are able to use their true talents and resources to make the change and the impact they desire. Also, building the platform for her upcoming book allowed her to venture into exciting projects she had never experienced before.
Current Business Challenge
Balancing her responsibilities is Elizabeth’s current business challenge. She questions how much to delegate and how much to handle herself.
Your Support System
Elizabeth’s personal assistant has been a valuable resource for over 15 years. She handles whatever necessary so Elizabeth can be out in front of people. She also has a Momentum Manager she relies on for her websites and a new social media manager.
Leadership Practice
A Mastermind, a coach and countless books help Elizabeth to be the best leader she can be.
Book to Develop Leadership
Gutsy Women Win by Pat Obuchowski
Advice For Younger Self
It’s not too early and it’s not too late.
Inspirational Quote
“Millions of lives and millions of books.” ~ Elizabeth Crook
Links
Web: http://www.biggersmarterricher.com/offer
Web: http://www.orchardadvisors.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/biggersmarterricher
Facebook: http//www.facebook/orchardadvisors
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
For more resources go to https://womentakingthelead.com
Bri Seeley is an inspirational woman who supports women around the world to live their own version of an inspirational life. Bri is the creator of The Inspirational Woman Project, the co-founder of a UN-networking movement, The AMPLIFY Collective, and co-host of a weekly podcast, Be Amplified. A coach, speaker, author, and former renown fashion designer with an international fashion brand, she is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and is known by many for her tell-it-like-it-is advice. Bri has been featured on The Today Show, Kickstarter, PBS, and Free Enterprise.
Playing Small Moment
Bri’s playing small moment came just a few years ago when she realized she had not fully committed to her brand. She was waiting for a “white horse” to make her decision for her.
The Wake Up Call
Bri’s wake up call came when her day job cut her pay in half. She sifted through her notes from a conference she had attended the day before. She was searching for inspiration to get her through this difficult time. In doing so, she found an email address that changed her life. She realized all she needed was to trust herself to take the first step, and the universe rained goodness on her after that.
Style of Leadership
Leading by example is Bri’s leadership style. She doesn’t like to be preachy and tell women how they should do things. Bri gives women the tools they need to get what they want out of life.
What Are You Excited About?
Bri has a big soirée coming up in December. This fun un-networking event will host 100+ people to shopping and champagne.
Current Business Challenge
Bri is challenged with shedding some old habits, processes and people which no longer serve her new way of being. She is rebuilding her life with things that are in better alignment with her success.
Your Support System
Bri leans on her mother and her business partner for support. Her business partner helps her to organize her business and their shared community of amazing women. Bri also just hired her first employee.
Leadership Practice
Bri’s internal meditation practice allows her to show up in a powerful way as a leader in the world.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
Learn to have more fun!
Inspirational Quote
“If you don’t ask the answer is always no.” ~ Nora Roberts
Links
Facebook: http://facebook.com/theinspirationalwomanproject
Twitter: http://twitter.com/briseeley
Instagram: http://instagram.com/iambriseeley
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
Dr. Amy Cannatta is an international coach, innovative life strategist, #1 International bestselling author of her book, PURSEpective: From Ruin to Resilience, podcast host, and blogger for The Huffington Post. She is passionate about teaching you how changing your perspective can turn tragedy into personal transformation. Focusing on resilience, perseverance and positivity, she has personally developed a signature coaching program using her DREAM framework, the same strategies she used herself to transform from domestic abuse victim to VICTOR, doctor and entrepreneur. Her personally developed coaching programs combine her expertise as an intuitive, holistic chiropractor, business owner and life coach. When she is not getting caught red handed with her hand on her secret stash of sour patch kids or getting glares from her teenage daughters for dancing around the kitchen, she can be found enjoying nature.
Playing Small Moment
Amy’s playing small moment came when her grandmother passed away. She was 29-years-old and pregnant with her second daughter when she felt a nagging feeling, telling her she was destined for more.
The Wake Up Call
Amy knows exactly when the biggest wake up call of her life happened — it was May 21, 2002. She was taking her final chiropractic exam when police officers surrounded her school. Amy’s abusive, husband-at-the-time had shown up armed and in camouflage.
Style of Leadership
Leading by example to inspire and motivate others through actions. Amy says you never know who is watching or who you are influencing.
What Are You Excited About?
Amy is launching a 5-step, DREAM framework. It is a simple framework anyone can use to build resiliency, tenacity and courage. DREAM will soon be a group course and a self-study course.
Current Business Challenge
Amy finds herself maxed out on time and her biggest challenge is deciding if she can afford to hire another team member.
Your Support System
Amy has an army of support behind her. She pays attention to the people who are cheering her on while she is doing well, because her inner circle cheers her on all of the time.
Leadership Practice
Journaling every day makes Amy a better leader.
Book to Develop Leadership
Sacred Success by Barbara Stanny
Advice For Younger Self
Get used to the downs, because they come along with the ups.
Inspirational Quote
“To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don’t worry about the darkness, for that is when stars shine brightest.” ~ Anonymous
Links
Podcast: Concept To Cash Flow -
http://amycannatta.com/concept-to-cashflow-podcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amycannattadc/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/acannattadc
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amycannatta
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
Shelli Warren is a self-proclaimed Leadership Junkie and Encore
Career Enthusiast, with 25 years of experience leading technical teams and projects in a large global manufacturing company. As a
Success Coach, she teaches women how to first become the person she wants to be on the inside, so she can become her on
The outside. She’s also the host of the Success Series — a cocktail hour like no other, where she conducts live interviews with fabulous women who are reaching success on their own terms. When she’s not growing her business and making new connexions, she co-chairs the Leadercast Brockville Leadership Conference. This event that is linked to the Atlanta, Georgia hub site annual conference, which is gearing up to launch "Success For Teens”, a youth leadership program designed by the team at Success Magazine for the up and coming leaders in her hometown.
Playing Small Moment
Shelli was a proven leader of technical teams. When she felt it was time for her to move up and into a different role, she enlisted the help of a leader who turned out not having the clout she thought he had. It took a couple of years before she decided to bypass him and get the word out on her own.
The Wake Up Call
One day it dawned on Shelli that she was starting to resent having to go to work. She was finding more and more fulfillment in her community and discovering joy outside of her career. She loved her job until she didn’t.
Style of Leadership
Shelli has the unique ability to stack a team. She attracted the best candidates because of her communication strategies and her willingness to shine a spotlight on those deserving of the attention.
Current Business Challenge
Shelli is learning things happen on divine time and not on Shelli time. She is learning to release the significance on the outcome and appreciating that things will happen when they are supposed to happen. Shelli is also finding it challenging to value her ability and formulate a price for her services.
What Are You Excited About?
Shelli is excited about recording her live sessions and launching her encouragement cards. Her cards are an easy, quick delightful way to let someone know people are noticing what “she” is accomplishing.
Your Support System
Shelli’s support system includes an artist, a web developer and the women of her Sheconnex community.
Leadership Practice
She starts every day with a podcast for motivation and keeps key people in her Fab 5.
Book to Develop Leadership
She Takes On the World and The Conquer Kit by Natalie MacNeil
Advice For Younger Self
“Your instinct, your intuition and your spirit are your three best friends who will be with you for a lifetime.” and “Be the proof of your truth.”
Inspirational Quote
“Be true to you.” ~ Shelli Warren
Links
Website: http://sheconnex.com/
Facebook Group Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1485759525052975/
Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/sheconnex/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamsheconnex/?hl=en
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/shelliwarren2
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
In the last episode we talked about identifying your core values so you could use them, almost like a compass set to your True North, with more awareness. Knowing your values and using them as a guide to make decisions will help you to be more peaceful and confident day-to-day.
In this episode I wanted to talk about other qualities you have, that you may not be fully aware of, that can also help you to find the success your looking for.
We are entering an era where success in business will be determined by the relationships we’ve built over time. As a leader, what does this mean for you? A lot.
Today, many employees consider the overall culture of an organization, the amount of freedom they’ll have in their position, and how they can contribute to and make an impact there.
Consumers aren’t basing their buying choices solely on cost. They’re researching more than ever before to find out what a brand really represents – its mission, values, and history.
Given this shift, strong leadership itself is a superpower. And our society is ever-obsessed with superhero figures.
When I was a child I wanted to be like Wonder Woman, She-Ra, and GI Jane.
In my years as a corporate leader I loved and was inspired by the then more recent superhero characters in Trinity from The Matrix, Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, and Michelle Yeoh's character from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
To me, these characters embodied strength, self-assurance and a willingness to take a different path. They endeavored for the greater good at great sacrifice to themselves.
They had superb fighting skills but used them judiciously and only when necessary.
As a leader, take a moment to reflect on your own superpowers – those special qualities that make you shine in your role. Remember, virtually every professional interaction gives you the opportunity to build – or slowly destroy – your relationships.
Here are some qualities that come to mind when I think of leadership superpowers:
Other superpowers I think of are: warmth, humor, being open to constructive feedback, sharing (within reason) your thoughts or personal stories, visionary thinking, listening, ability to plan effectively and to successfully re-route those plans when they don’t fall into place, willingness to commit, and a desire to give back to others.
Just like your favorite superhero, use your superpowers to build quality relationships, lead your team, and inspire others – in business and in life.
And as any great superhero would, wield your powers to annihilate any quality that isn’t serving your highest good (we all have them!) – such as being overly judgmental, critical, or condescending, blaming others, being argumentative or continually wanting to prove your point, or even, being unresponsive.
And, (since you’re only human, after all) when you need a little inspiration of your own, just envision your favorite superhero, busting through all that evil and making everything alright again...
There are tools out there that are designed to help you get to know yourself better and identify your unique Superpowers:
There are many more indicators but these are the more popular ones and the ones I am most familiar with. If you have another you are more familiar with, take that one. The point is to seek clarity around what makes you tick so that you can use this knowledge to your advantage.
When I found out two of my strengths were enthusiasm and collaboration I was not completely surprised. Looking back on my career I could see how those traits helped me to stand out of the crowd.
However, having the awareness that these were the traits that had me stand out I can plan my business activities around these traits...and avoid situations where I am weakest.
How about you? Are there Superpowers you already know you have and are using regularly? Let me know by leaving a comment or message me directly.
Have an amazing week and here’s to your success!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Luke Iorio is President of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). He is a dad, spouse, entrepreneur, conscious growth strategist, coach, blogger, podcaster, wide-angled observer, and enthusiastic participant in the game of life who seeks to ask and answer the question, “What’s truly possible?”
In fact, Luke has made a career out of disrupting life’s “good enough” status quo. A digital mastermind behind the Live Lead Play network (iPEC’s publishing arm), Luke has built a high conscious, multi-media publishing platform rivaling today’s lifestyle verticals. As a Certified Professional Coach, Luke became the youngest CEO in iPEC’s history and was soon recognized as one of New Jersey’s elite Forty Under 40 prodigies. All while helping to position iPEC as a Best Place to Work, and nabbing a top 10 spot amid Leadership Excellence Magazine’s Leadership 500 list.
Currently presiding as iPEC’s President, Luke and his team have graduated over 11,000 coaches and Coach Centric™ leaders traversing 44 countries via in-person training, immersion programs, and targeted education sweeping the virtual marketplace.
A Woman Who Has Influenced Your Life
Luke has had many women influence his life. His mother expanded his mind through art and creative thinking. His wife believed in him when his life was at a crux. And, his grandmother was the business leader and matriarch of a chain of music schools. All three women got him to be greater than even he thought he would be.
What He Sees That Hold Women Back
Luke recognizes that when a woman takes over a traditional leadership position, they are normally walking into a role a man previously held. He seems them struggle to get their bearings in the beginning.
What He Has Learned From Women
Luke has learned a great deal about courage and a lesson in vulnerability from a client who lost her husband to cancer. She turned her tragic circumstance into her mission.
The Necessary Changes
Luke says if women were to lean into their feminine values, leadership styles and essence of who they really are, they would discover their extraordinary powers of influence.
What Are You Excited About
Luke is excited about working on his new book, A Meaningful Way, right now and he has recently re-launched his podcast to compliment the book.
Inspirational Quote
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” ~ Zig Ziglar
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.” ~ Joseph Campbell
Links
Website: http://lukeiorio.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luke.iorio
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lukeiorio
Live Lead Play Network: https://twitter.com/liveleadplay
Live Lead Play on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liveleadplay
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
Honorée Corder is the author of 20 books, including Vision to Reality, pRosperity for Writers, Business Dating, the Successful Single Mom Book Series, If Divorce Is a Game, and the Divorced Phoenix. She is also Hal Elrod’s business partner in the Miracle Morning book series. Honorée coaches business professionals, writers, and aspiring nonfiction authors who want to publish their books to bestseller status, create a platform, and develop multiple streams of income. She also does all sorts of other magical things, and her badassery is legendary.
Key Takeaways:
[5:51] Honorée used her business partner as her avatar for inspiration while writing her latest book.
[9:54] How Honorée addressed the main hurdles of starting the book writing process.
[12:50] Having a book lets clients know you are the expert they need to seek out.
[14:57] Get your first draft out and then work with an editing team to polish it up.
[19:14] The fever sets in when you start thinking about your second book while in the middle of your first book.
[23:32] Start by building your list to get people excited to get your book as soon as it available on Amazon.
[27:00] The title is what the book is about and the subtitle is the premise for the reader.
[30:18] How The Wheel of Fortune is re-purposing your book’s content.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Women Taking the Lead Episode 58 with Honorée Corder
@Honorée is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead #inspiration (https://womentakingthelead.com/163)
Website: HonoréeCorder.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/Honorée
A Free Sample of Honoree’s Book: HonoréeCorder.com/youmustsample
Email for scheduling or information about coaching for writers:
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want
Find more resources at http://womentakingthelead.com
Meredith Bell has been an entrepreneur since 1982, and she’s an expert in helping companies develop the people side of their business. Meredith is co-founder and President of Performance Support Systems, a global software company based in Virginia. Meredith heads up marketing and sales for the company. Over the years, she’s served as an informal mentor and coach to the coaches, consultants, business owners and human resource professionals who use their products. One of her strengths is creating strong, long-term relationships. Meredith and her business partners have worked together for 25 years, and many of their clients and resellers have done business with them for 20 years. She understands what’s required to build the loyalty and commitment that lead to repeat business and referrals.
Playing Small Moment
Meredith’s playing small moment happened when she was bullied by a possible client to lower her price, and because she wanted the client’s business she gave in and lowered her price. She says she would not handle the incident the same way today.
The Wake Up Call
Meredith had a wake up call when she found herself ignoring her inner critic, telling her she wasn’t important enough to take a certain action. She acted quickly before there was time to second guess herself. She realized there was nothing wrong with being bold.
Style of Leadership
People sense that Meredith cares for them. She pays attention to what people are saying and not saying. She lets them know she is there to serve them.
What Are You Excited About?
Meredith is excited about her new online coaching system, Strong for Performance. It applies to those who are developing leaders. It excites her every day to see people motivated and inspired.
Current Business Challenge
Meredith finds it challenging to get the word out about her new product as quickly and as grand as possible.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Meredith’s business partners have supporting skill sets that help make everything work. She also benefits from outsourcing and automation tools.
Leadership Practice
Listening deeply to people when they are talking is Meredith’s effective leadership practice.
Book to Develop Leadership
Straight Line Leadership by Dusan Djukich
Advice For Younger Self
“Have more fun. Be less serious and lighten up.” And, “Make more bold requests.”
Inspirational Quote
“How can I serve this person so powerfully that they never forget this conversation for the rest of their life?” ~ Rich Litvin
Links
Website: http://www.strongforperformance.com/
Email: meredith@prostarcoach.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/meredithmbell
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredithmbell
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MeredithMBell
Free Gift:
Support Coaching videos and ebook: http://prostarcoach.com/coachingebookandvideos.asp
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want
Find more resources at http://womentakingthelead.com
Dr. Michele Summers Colon is the author of Body Wisdom: 10 Weeks to Transformation So You Can Get and Feel Healthy Again. She is also a physician, entrepreneur, yoga instructor, and a motivational speaker offering workshops and online courses based on her book. Dr. Colon hopes to inspire women to live happier, healthier lives that honor their own bodies, wants, and desires. She is a holistic podiatrist in Southern California and lives with her daughter in a suburb east of Los Angeles, California where she hikes and practices yoga.
Playing Small Moment
Michele was bullied during her formative years and she let that stop her from doing the things she loved. When she opened her shoe business she had thoughts about not being good enough and was worried about what people would think. But she worked really hard to get through it.
The Wake Up Call
Michele’s wake up call came when she paid off all of her student loans. She realized she didn’t have to be in debt forever and she could accomplish big goals.
Style of Leadership
Michele leads by example. She finds the way that works for her and then teaches it to others.
What Are You Excited About?
Michele is excited about her new podcast, Body Wisdom with Dr. Michele.
Current Business Challenge
Michele finds it challenging to build her team. She is figuring out how many team members she needs and how to best utilize the specific talents each team member has.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Michele has a business coach that provides support and consistently takes her to the next level. She also feels supported by her mastermind groups, her friends and her family.
Leadership Practice
Michele has developed the important practice of deep listening.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
“Just go for it. Don’t worry about what other people think.”
Inspirational Quote
“The secret of leadership is simple. Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow.” ~ Seth Godin
Links
Website: http://www.drmichele.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/yogawithdrmichele
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/doctormichele
Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichelecolon
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/drmichele
Jewel’s Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
Over the last several bonus episodes we’ve been talking about all the things that get in the way of you being and showing up as who you really are: that unique, powerful, capable person who is going full-steam after their biggest goals with passion and enthusiasm.
Now that you know who you don't want to be, and who you are not, let's get to who you really are.
"Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come." ~ Ellen DeGeneres
As we discussed in the previous bonus episodes you may have been at the mercy of your stress reactions for so long that you are not really sure who you are anymore, though you may see glimpses of that person, but there are ways to get there.
A good place to start is your values. Your values are at the core of who you are.
Without thought your values guide you through your day-to-day life. You know you, or anyone else for that matter, has honored your values when you feel really great about them or something you did or a decision you made.
We are often attracted to those who share our values. We have thoughts like, “They get me” or “they get it.” We pick up on the shared values and feel like we’ve found another member of our tribe.
And guess what? You will also know when you or someone else has dishonored one of your values. You will immediately become upset.
Whenever something bothers me I quickly do what I call a "Values Scan" to see which value or values have been infringed upon. Once I have that awareness I do what's in my power to put it right.
You do not want to achieve success while dishonoring your values. Those who try usually sacrifice their health or relationships to do so.
Think of people who go to work every day to a job they hate. They know something is wrong but they convince themselves they don't have a choice in the matter. So they start overeating or drinking, or gambling or...you fill in the blank.
They go from Cocooning to The Amazon Warrior to tolerating…exhausting!
Chronic disease is also prevalent among those that know their life is not on track.
Do you have any idea how many clients who started working with me who had arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia or some other debilitating condition?
Their body had been screaming at them for years but the good news is they made a decision and are doing something about it now. Uncovering what their values are and honoring those values as a priority alleviates some if not all of their suffering.
Living a life in accordance with your values will strengthen you. You will feel more confident, peaceful and fulfilled in the work and activities you engage in.
Are you ready to get at your core values?
I have a worksheet that you can use to identify your top values.
Once you know what your values are, and who you are at your core, you can use them to guide you in any decision you need to make.
Whenever you are faced with a new decision ask yourself, “What choice will honor my highest values?”
Thank you so much for listening and if you need help working through the values exercise or figuring out how to apply it to your life, business or current situation don’t hesitate to reach out to me at Jodi@womentakingthelead.com or through any social platform.
Have an amazing day and here’s to your success!
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Leave a comment and let me know what you think! I love feedback.
Want to continue the conversation? Go here to join the Women Taking the Lead private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womentl/
Jessica Philippe is the founder of Uptrovert, a blog dedicated to helping introverts succeed without losing out on the magic of actually being an introvert. She’s currently focused on helping introverted entrepreneurs who thought they could start a successful business alone, to get over that fantasy and instead build a network they can rely on. When she isn’t helping other introverts kick ass at being themselves, Jessica is also a mom, scientist, gardener, and adventurer living in Vermont.
Playing Small Moment
After attending a conference and feeling confident about her performance, people back at the office inferred Jessica should never have been invited―her invitation was only because no one else could go. Jessica started to believe what her colleagues were saying and it took her many years to move past it.
The Wake Up Call
When Jessica realized her sense of place was important to her, she took the necessary steps to continue living in Vermont. She started looking for inspiration outside of her traditional career and found opportunities everywhere.
Style of Leadership
Jessica leads by doing, and by setting an example that it is OK to try new things. That is what makes people follow her.
What Are You Excited About?
Jessica is excited about putting together a portfolio of tools for introverts. She wants to take fears and weaknesses and turn them into something positive. She would like to facilitate meaningful conversations.
Current Business Challenge
Jessica’s business challenge is finding balance in her life. She is so excited about Uptrovert that she wants to work on it all day, every day; but Jessica knows she needs to take her time because she is in for the long haul.
Your Business Support System
Jessica’s husband has been amazing at picking up the slack when she gets excited about a new class or her new business. Also, she now has a coach she can trust.
Leadership Practice
Jessica always does basic background research on people she is going to meet with, in order to give her a sense of who they are.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
“Don’t listen to the people who are trying to get you to slow down!” and “Listen to your mother when she tells you that you can do anything you put your mind to.”
Inspirational Quote
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Links
Email: jessica@uptrovert.com
Find more resources at http://womentakingthelead.com
Jewel's Custom Books: Every child wants to be the hero of their own story! With a Jewel’s Custom Book your child plays the central role in every book, bringing joy and delight when they hear their name and those of their family and friends. Visit jewelscustombooks.com to make your child the STAR of the show!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
Stacy Tuschl is an Entrepreneur and Business Performance Strategist. She started her first business in her parents’ backyard at the age of 18, and turned that company into a 7 figure business. She is the author of the book, Is Your Business Worth Saving?, where she reveals proven strategies for pulling entrepreneurs out of a rut and launching them toward business success, and the host of the top-rated podcast Business Rescue Road Map.
Playing Small Moment
Stacy realized she had been playing small by only looking within the dance industry for inspiration for her business. It wasn’t until she started branching out that she realized how much more was available to her.
The Wake Up Call
Stacy reached a level of success with her dance studio that she never thought was possible. She was nervous to extend her business reach even further. It wasn’t until a contractor told her she needed her Facebook page up and running that she overcame her fear of branching out to reach even more success.
Style of Leadership
Stacy understands she is leading leaders. She encourages her team to work on personal development so the entire group can take the company to the next level of success.
What Are You Excited About?
Stacy is excited about her Level Up Facebook community and group coaching program.
Current Business Challenge
Stacy always focuses on marketing and building her brand, so as her business grows she needs to add employees. She says it’s challenging to hire new team members while she is in the rushed mode of needing someone quickly.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Stacy has 40 members in her team. They allow her to work on the business and not in the business. She is able to work on things that matter the most to her business and delegate everything else.
Leadership Practice
Stacy reaches out to every employee, every month using her popsicle stick method.
Book to Develop Leadership
Good Leaders Ask Good Questions by John Maxwell
Advice For Younger Self
“You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with.”
Inspirational Quote
“Don’t be the smartest person in the room.”
Links
Web: http://www.stacytuschl.com
Facebook: http://www.leveluptribe.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/StacyTuschl
Business Rescue Road Map Podcast: http://businessrescueroadmap.com/
Text: Levelup to 24587
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Jen Hemphill helps busy ambitious women transform their finances from being overwhelming to bringing joy, simplicity, and confidence. She is a Motivational Money Coach, an AFC® (Accredited Financial Counselor) and the host of Her Money Matters Podcast. When she's not talking money, she enjoys photography, coffee, chocolate, traveling, working out and spending time with her husband and two boys.
Playing Small Moment
At the beginning of her journey, Jen didn’t listen to her own intuition. She allowed the opinions and coaching of others to influence her initial business practices, because she didn’t feel confident enough to follow her own instincts.
The Wake Up Call
A few years ago, Jen found herself down in the dumps about many things in her life. Her husband’s pep talk taught her to celebrate the things that were successes, and so she didn’t have time to focus on what didn’t happen.
Style of Leadership
Jen strives to step into other people’s shoes to see things from their perspective. Empathy helps her to lead.
What Are You Excited About?
Jen is super-excited about her Fearless Money Sisterhood Program. It is a new, affordable program that is a go-to source for women seeking money guidance.
Current Business Challenge
Jen is in the process of building a team and is finding some challenges in taking it to the next level. Her business will be morphing from being centered around direct coaching to a membership-based model.
Business Support System
Jen’s family has been really supportive and her business friends offer business support, because they have been where she is and understand.
Leadership Practice
Jen takes one day a week to make sure she practices self-care. It helps her to disconnect and quiet the clutter in her head.
Book to Develop Leadership
How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith
Advice For Younger Self
Believe in yourself, being positive is not enough.
Inspirational Quote
“If you are not willing to risk the unusual you will have to settle for the ordinary.” ~Jim Rohn
Links
Web: http://jenhemphill.com/community
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JenHemphill
For more resources go to https//womentakingthelead.com
I am excited and honored to do a couple sponsor introductions to the newest (and first!) sponsors of Women Taking the lead, Zebralove Web Solutions and Jewel's Custom Books!
Meet Milly Welsh
Milly Welsh is mom to 3 young daughters. When she's not helping businesses create websites and make them easily found she's getting dirty in her garden or making pottery.
Zebralove Web Solutions
http://zebralovewebsolutions.com/
https://www.facebook.com/zebraloveweb
Meet Robin Bates
Robin and her husband Marc are foster-to-adopt parents. They have adopted 2 of their 3 children - all under the age of 5. She is busy but she loves every minute of it!
Jewel's Custom Books
http://www.jewelscustombooks.com/
robin@jewelscustombooks.com/
https://www.facebook.com/jewelscustombooks
207-221-6973
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Caroline Greene is a recovering lawyer, chronic overachiever, and two-time Amazon best-selling author of MATTER: How to Find Meaningful Work That’s Right for You and Your Family and NEXT: How to Start a Successful Business That’s Right for You and Your Family. As a life and business coach, Caroline helps determined moms build businesses –and whole lives– that truly matter to them.
Playing Small Moment
Caroline’s playing small moment happened when she realized she didn’t value herself enough to allow other people to love her. Caroline didn’t have the tools to see her own shortcomings.
The Wake Up Call
While pregnant with her second child, Caroline experienced a hormone shift―which she calls a deep darkness. Her aha moment came when she caught herself in the mirror and saw an exhausted, resentful, sad person. It was this vision that caused her dark cloud to start lifting.
Style of Leadership
Caroline leads through honesty and compassion.
Current Business Challenge
Caroline has had amazing results in helping women to launch their businesses. Her challenge is making sure that her ideal client is ready to make a holistic shift and to get them to realize their business is part of their divine journey.
What Are You Excited About?
Caroline’s idea to help women connect to their business and connect it to their faith is what has her really excited right now.
Business Support System
Caroline is not afraid to outsource chores and jobs she doesn't enjoy or have time for, so that she can show up completely for her clients.
Leadership Practice
“Live it to give it” is the leadership practice she uses to keep her integrity in check.
Book to Develop Leadership
Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck
Advice For Younger Self
“Trust yourself.”
Inspirational Quote
“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” ~ G.K. Chesterton
Links
Web: http://carolinegreenecoaching.com/
Email: Caroline@carolinegreenecoaching.com use NEXT in the subject line for a free copy of the book.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolinegreenecoaching
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeterminedMoms
Instagram: http://instagram.com/determined_moms
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carolinekgreene/
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
This episode represents the last of three bonus episodes that I have dedicated to talking about who we are not. Namely, out alter-ego that has a tendency to appear when we are under stress.
I introduced the concept of the alter-ego in Bonus Episode 18, Defining Who You Are Starts With Who You Are Not, and dove into two of the most common stress reactions in Bonus Episode 19, Common Stress Reactions That Derail You [Part 1].
In this episode I’m going to give an overview of two other common stress reactions and what you can do if you choose not to utilize these reactions in any given moment. I say choose because I want to underline that there is no right or wrong in how you respond to stress it’s just that some reactions will move you toward your goals while others will move you away from your goals.
Tolerating/coping: The Chameleon
While this stress reaction is much more agreeable and feels better than shutting down or over-reacting, if you constantly choose this method of dealing with stress you will never be truly happy. This is the stress reaction of choosing your battles but you must choose wisely.
While tolerating and coping are great short-term strategies they are debilitating long-term strategies.
For example, if you had guests coming for the weekend you're not likely to bring up and address every little thing they do that doesn't follow house rules or just plain gets on your nerves. They are there for a short time and the goal is to make your guests comfortable and for everyone to have a good time.
So, you tell yourself they just don't know better, you put it aside and move on.
However, if these guests are building a new home and out of the graciousness of your heart you offered to have them live with you for 3-6 months it would be a different story. In this instance you would be better off using a different strategy: having a conversation up front about house rules, expectations and strategies of dealing with conflict.
But many of us don't think to set expectations in advance. You see, we have been raised to be The Chameleon.
Listen in to identify where The Chameleon is showing up in your life and if you're interested in identifying all the areas of toleration in your life I’ve got a worksheet that can help you with that.
Focusing on Others: The Superhero Syndrome
Oh, how I love to help others. It makes me feel so good to solve other people's problems, give them a helping hand, and take some of the stress off their shoulders.
I especially love it when I don't want to deal with my own projects and problems.
Being able to focus on someone else for a while takes the attention off what's causing me stress in my own life. This is a sure-fire way for me to feel better for a little while.
The problem is while I'm off saving the day for someone else my own stuff gets neglected: my business, my home, my finances, my health, etc.
All you current and recovering people-pleasers, are you with me?!
Tell me if this sounds familiar. It starts as you giving out of the generosity of your own heart. You see a need that you know you can take care of and your instinct is to take care of it. Because that's you, your a giving person. It's part of your identity.
So you swoop in and contribute your time, energy and/or resources and it is so appreciated and makes a difference that you light up on the inside. It's like a drug. You get a jolt of the feel-goods so you do it again. And it starts to become a regular thing. So regular that other people stop relating to it as a gift that you generously, and with sacrifice to your own needs, give - and they start taking it for granted.
Now it's no longer a gift, it's an obligation and obligations don't make you feel good they make you feel burdened. But if you stopped giving people would wonder what's wrong with you, what made you so upset. And that's not you. You're not the type of person that takes things away just because you’re upset. That's childish and you’re not childish.
This is now a crisis to your identity. Continue to give resentfully or take it away and risk your reputation as a helpful, giving, generous person. So now you are on the hunt for any semi-valid excuse for why you can no longer give what's expected of you.
I mean, you can't possible just come out and say it no longer works for you to give or heaven forbid...ask to be recognized and appreciated for what you give. Heavens to Betsy, who the hell does that?!
All the while your own needs, your projects and your mission in life take a back seat - only to be given attention when there are deadlines, emergencies or wake-up calls.
And the saga continues. Cue the music.
Or maybe this is your wake-up call.
Listen in to hear more about The Superhero Syndrome and how you can prevent it from taking over your life.
Managing Your Alter-Ego
If it helps you to name your alter-ego, draw it, journal about it, or write a song about it. The more aware you are of this part of you the more power you will have over it.
When you know the thoughts, feelings and behaviors you have when your alter-ego has taken over - and what triggers those reactions - the better you will be at catching your alter-ego before it has done too much damage and you can handle the situation from there.
Trust me, knowing is half the battle. You are going to feel like a whole new woman as you start working through this process.
If you want help identifying your stress reactions I have an assessment I use with my clients that gets to the heart of the stress reactions that are running the show and keeping them from hitting their goals.
Just go to https://womentakingthelead.com/assessment/ to get more information and buy it if it’s the right next step for you.
Let me know what you thought of this episode and if you see your chameleon or superhero coming out in response to stress.
For more resources go to https://womentakingthelead.com
PJ Jonas is a business owner, goat-wrangler, entrepreneur, and mother. After getting goats to provide healthy milk for her eight children, she decided to put some excess milk into a batch of handmade soap. That decision was the beginning of Goat Milk Stuff, a growing goat milk products business that has been featured on The Today Show, The Doctors, The Huckabee Show, and in “O”, the Oprah Magazine. What started with an initial small batch of soap, has expanded into a host of goat milk items such as goat milk soaps, cheeses, candies, fudge, gelato and more. It’s a team effort to keep the farm running, make and ship all the products, and welcome visitors to the farm. PJ’s husband, eight children (aged 9 to 19), and six full-time employees, all work hard to promote the goodness of goat milk.
Playing Small Moment
In 2008, PJ realized she had some momentum going in the business, but it was not enough income to allow her husband to leave his job―unless, the family made some cutbacks and sacrifices. The entire family voted to pitch in and give up small pleasures to help invest in the family business.
The Wake Up Call
PJ’s wake up call came when she realized the family’s existing 3 acre farm was not going to be big enough to support their growing business. When the family bought a 36 acre farm with a lot of traffic, they decided to open up their farm to visitors.
Style of Leadership
PJ wants her employees and family to know it’s okay to make mistakes, and to strive to be better through continuous improvement.
Current Business Challenge
PJ is finding it difficult to identify good employees. Her challenge is to make better hiring decisions.
What Are You Excited About?
A new kitchen building and a machine milking parlor are the latest projects for Goat Milk Stuff. PJ is excited to be increasing her company’s product line with food products, in addition to soaps and body products.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
PJ’s business support system is her family at the moment. She is interested in getting an outside perspective from other entrepreneurs, but doesn’t want to sacrifice her lifestyle.
Leadership Practice
Continuous learning is something PJ does in order to be the best leader she can be.
Book to Develop Leadership
Lady on the Hill by Howard E. Covington
Advice For Younger Self
“Don’t be in such a rush.”
Inspirational Quote
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the more I work, the more I have of it.” ~Thomas Jefferson
Links
Free Gift: http://www.goatmilkstuff.com/womensoap.html
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goatmilkstuff
Twitter: https://twitter.com/goatmilkstuff
For more resources go to https://womentakingthelead.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goatmilkstuff/
While working in the television industry, Marie Sola excelled at new business development and relationship building. Her entrepreneurial spirit inspired her to start her own company (Crocker Marketing, Inc.), which led to her creating the –
New England Emmy nominated television show The Maine Dish and The Maine Kids Show.
Following her work in the television industry, Marie worked internationally for the premiere networking group, of more than 20,000 CEOs around the world, Young Presidents’ Organization.
Deciding that she is the best boss she has ever had, Marie took the leap to go back and work for herself, founding Shasta Concepts LLC and Daughters of Change™. Combining her love of developing grassroots projects with her passion for social entrepreneurship, Marie’s work focuses on businesses with a conscience.
Playing Small Moment
When Marie watched the planes hit the twin towers on 9/11, she felt compelled to take action. She organized the United Maine Lobster Feed and along with many Maine breweries, she was able to organize food for the emergency workers at “the pile”. To this day, it is one of the most significant days in her life, with a clear message to make her time on this earth count.
The Wake Up Call
Marie had always worked for other people’s passions and pocketbooks, which she knew didn’t mesh with her core themes. Marie had a wake up call when her teenage son admitted to not sharing something with her, “because she was working”, to make her take the leap and to start off on her own.
Style of Leadership
Marie believes you must inspire and empower the people you lead by stripping down your ego and giving them a voice.
Current Leadership Challenge
Marie’s biggest challenge has been creating a business model for an abstract idea. She grapples with defining and focusing on what she needs to do first.
What Are You Excited About?
Marie is currently working on what will be Maine’s largest public awareness and education campaign on domestic violence —Take Action Maine.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
A supportive partner can make all the difference when taking the big leap to do what you love.
Leadership Practice
Meditation is essential to Marie. The time she takes to slow down and gather herself keeps her from being scattered.
Book to Develop Leadership
Conscious Capitalism by John Mackey
Advice For Younger Self
“Do it sooner, don’t agonize over the small stuff and take the leap.”
Inspirational Quote
“If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough” ~
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of Liberia
Links
Web: http://www.daughtersofchange.com
Email: msola@daughtersofchange.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/daughtersofchange
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
At 53, Anne Stephany faced a life threatening illness. Her biggest fear was dying without fulfilling her purpose. Her work has always been service. Now she brings skills and wisdom from two careers and extensive life experience to serve women. Anne empowers women to shine, joyfully living their purpose and proudly creating their legacy. They break through limiting beliefs, effects of trauma and of aging (Anne is going to be 60 next month!) to be free. When not working you can find her at the beach, swimming with whales, and traveling.
Playing Small Moment
Anne found herself making excuses and covering up incidents for an abusive partner. It took her some time before she realized what she was doing, and that she needed to leave. She had to later forgive herself for staying as long as she did.
The Wake Up Call
Anne’s wake up call came when her doctor told her how close she was to death. She realized she might actually die before she did all the things she was put on earth to do. Life became very precious because there was no time to waste.
Style of Leadership
Anne is a free spirited leader who leads with her “why”.
Current Leadership Challenge
Anne’s vision and leadership challenge are one in the same. She would like to create a worldwide network of luminescence from women shining, while coming into their power.
What Are You Excited About?
Anne is excited that she is able to share her message by hosting her own podcast. She also is a member of an online learning platform so she shares her message in the best possible way.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Anne receives support in many different ways. She has a coach, mentor and a fitness coach plus she is part of Women’s Groups on Facebook.
Leadership Practice
Meditation is Anne’s secret weapon. It creates a space for her, and in that space answers become clear and she knows what her next steps are.
Book to Develop Leadership
Start With Your Why by Simon Sinek
Advice For Younger Self
“You are enough. You can have and do and be whatever you can dream.”
Inspirational Quote
"If today were the last day of my life would I want to do what I am about to do today?” ~ Steve Jobs
Links
Web: http://www.annestephany.com
Podcast: http://www.annestephany.com/podcast
Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/theannestephany
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Abbie McGilvery is a Social Media Magician (okay, a Social Media Strategist, but that’s close enough!) She serves as an adviser, guide, and mentor for the business owners she works with. Abbie has been called a Marketing Maven and a Networking Expert, but prefers to think of herself as a creative "social media scrapbooker" with a focus on helping business owners build brand visibility and tell their stories on social media channels. Abbie helps business owners, creatives, and leaders get clear on what they do, who they are, and how to share their gifts with the world.
Playing Small Moment
Abbie dimmed her light for many years because she was afraid someone else would dim it for her. She thought people wouldn’t be ready for her energy. So, when she found herself in a moment of panic after being let go from a job, she went into an interview carrying her doubt and uncertainty on her sleeve. She forgot to interview the company to see if the position they were offering was even a good fit for her. The experience taught her some hard lessons and crushed her spirit.
The Wake Up Call
Abbie was rudely confronted about a photo she used in a company publication. Instead of having a conversation with her, the manager aggressively accused and bullied her. The situation ended with her separation from the organization. She vowed never to allow herself to be treated in that way again and she would make sure the next job she took would be something she wanted.
Style of Leadership
Abbie says there are three things a leader should be or do. They are: 1) Leaders should understand that they do not have to be perfect. 2) Leaders should sit within the circle of their team. 3) Leaders should be authentic and show people what it’s like to be the culture of their organization.
Current Leadership Challenge
Abbie’s current leadership challenge is her plan to scale up. Her service based business will be adding people and they need to have the same values and beliefs she has.
What Are You Excited About?
Abbie is excited about the possibility of helping people pinpoint their dreams and to figure out how they can focus more energy in that direction.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Abbie figured out that humans were meant to be surviving in tribes by working together and sharing talents. Her best friend and co-worker Angie, along with her parents are always there for her.
Leadership Practice
Abbie’s practice of showing up and listening to other leaders she aspires to be like make her a more effective leader.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
“Be big, be bold and don’t ever let anyone dim your light.”
Inspirational Quote
"In a gentle way, you can shake the world." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” ~ Mohadesa Najumi
Links
Web: http://www.fromthenestsocial.com/
Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/fromthenestsocial/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FunkyFabAb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/funkyfabab/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbiemcgilvery
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
To get us caught up, in the last Bonus episode I talked about using your powers of deduction to get at who you want to be as a leader and that you are not your stress reactions. I promised I would go into some of the common stress reactions so that, with an awareness of what they look like, you could choose a new reaction.
Well, as promised here are two of the most common stress reactions
Shutting down: Cocooning
Imagine you are going about your day when suddenly, something happens.
No matter what it is, it occurs to you as bad news. In the moment it feels like the worst news. The last thing you needed right now. The straw that broke the camel's back. It could be a change to your carefully laid out plans, an unpleasant conversation, a flat tire, burnt toast...whatever.
It really doesn't matter what it is. What matters is it's something you don't like and you feel like it's out of your control.
And then you feel the energy drain out of your body. You're tired, defeated and you start to wonder why you try so hard. It's already X o'clock in the morning and you feel like you need a nap.
But you can't take a nap so instead you either go in your office and close the door, or you go to your phone to see what's happening on facebook, or you get in your car to go to Starbucks to get a jolt of caffeine. If you're at home you might sit on the couch and do a Netflix marathon.
You. Are. Shut. Down.
You're batteries became depleted and you are now doing anything you can to recharge.
You may also be in a mindset where you can't stand to be around yourself and nothing makes you happy. You may feel ashamed of yourself and worthless.
You can't stand to have people see you like this so you hide out and go into your cocoon. You isolate yourself from others and keep them at a distance.
This is not YOU.
This is your alter-ego in survival mode. It will help you to recover but it's not the most effective way to hit your goals or to achieve the life you want to live.
While you are recovering, and if you find yourself here do what you can to recover… But while you are recovering you are falling a little further behind on your goals and you are ineffective at anything you try to do.
The real you is effective, capable and resourceful but the real you has taken a back seat and given the power over to the alter-ego.
Don't give your alter-ego decision making power.
Here’s a little warning: do not make decisions when the alter-ego is in charge. They will be decisions made from the perspective of an 8-year-old. What does an 8-year-old know about what you are capable of? Exactly.
The key here is to be aware that the alter-ego has taken over. When you are aware, the power is in your court. You can make a different decision if you like. You can choose to see the situation differently and see where you do have power and control - where the woman of your experience and skill level can make a difference.
In the last episode I mentioned how I become a micro-manager when I get stressed out and feel out of control.
Well, there are times when I let that controlling part of myself off the leash so I can dive into the details and research the daylights out of a certain topic. But I'm doing it by choice and not because I feel out of control. I use my default stress reaction to serve me and not the other way around.
Life is duality. You are both in control and powerless. The key is to be in control when you are in control and to let things unfold when you are not in control...and dare I say, enjoy the ride?
Over-reacting: The Amazon Warrior
Similar to the previous situation something happens but in this instance your alter-ego's faulty radar picks up something different. Rather than sensing a situation where there is nothing you can do you're alter-ego picks up a threat.
That change to your carefully laid out plans, the unpleasant conversation, the flat tire, the burnt toast - they are now perceived as putting something at risk, something important. This creates conflict.
The alter-ego is now charged up and ready to do battle! Rather than turning into the Incredible Hulk (we're women, after all) you become The Amazon Warrior.
Being an Amazon Warrior might sound eccentric and sexy. But no one likes to be around this woman and this woman has to fight for everything that she wants. She's so unpleasant people only help her if they have to.
The battle that you create in this stress reaction can come in the following forms:
There is more energy in this stress reaction so you're not likely to find yourself lying on the couch, at least on right away. But this burst of energy is on credit and you pay it back in interest. Once the adrenaline rush has passed you will likely find yourself in need of some recovery time and you slip into cocooning.
Also, when your alter-ego is in charge of this stress reaction the actions you take will like be misdirected. It will get you a result that is only temporary and land you with consequences that may be worse than the original perceived threat.
This stress reaction causes us to say things we don't mean (to ourselves and others), take our fear and anger out on an innocent bystander, and make snap-decisions in the heat of the moment.
Even if you are somewhat aware of your internal conflict your attempts to hide it are futile. You'll find yourself being critical of yourself and others, you'll involuntarily focus on the negative (threats!) and your tone of voice/word choice/body language will give you away.
A coach of mine called this leaking. It's gross but accurate.
You are trying to hide your volatile mood but it leaks out and as a consequence you occur to other people as "not quite right."
This is not YOU either.
This is your alter-ego on high alert, looking for threats, and trying to protect you. It is defensive, augmentative and just waiting for someone to say or do that "thing" and it will lash out.
Again, to gain control over your alter-ego awareness is key. Be aware of what is pushing your buttons; what feels threatened and what is causing the threat.
Realize that a large percentage of the threats you perceive are just that, perceived threats. They are not real and if you can stay in current reality you can keep yourself from turning into The Amazon Warrior.
If you know one or both of these stress reactions are holding you back in your business or professional life reach out to me. This is how I serve my clients best and when they are able to manage their alter-egos and choose their response consciously they are able to keep stress away and stay focused on their goals.
For more resources go to https://womentakingthelead.com
Cloris Kylie, Marketing MBA, is the founder of Lead Generation Academy and Client Attraction Bootcamp. She helps coaches, authors, speakers, consultants, and skilled practitioners command attention, attract the right clients, build a captive audience of subscribers, and skyrocket their impact and revenue! A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, "Entrepreneur On Fire." Cloris’ articles have been published on websites with millions of followers, such as TinyBuddha and Addicted2Success.
Key Takeaways:
[2:40] Produce something new, partner with those around you and promote your own message to reveal your magnificence every single day.
[6:55] Start with step #1 - Get clear on who your right client is.
[11:20] Create an offer that meets the needs of your ideal client.
[16:23] Learn the fundamentals before you try to change the rules.
[24:19] Leverage the audience of large platforms to build authority at a faster rate.
[30:32] What is a current business challenge Cloris is facing right now?
[32:45] What does Cloris’ support system look like?
[35:12] How to get in contact with Cloris and how to get her new ebook for free.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Women Taking the Lead Episode 97 with Cloris Kylie
8 Proven Ways to Build Authority and Grow Your Audience
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Jan Molino is the CEO of Aspire Ascend. She has a passion for empowering women and a keen perspective on the challenges and opportunities of the modern workplace. Her specialty has always been to help executive women maneuver leadership obstacles and help organizations define cultures that are open to gender balance and diversity. Her strength in bringing smart, influential women and professionals together is complemented by a powerful network she utilizes in pursuit of leadership excellence for women.
Playing Small Moment
Jan realized she lacked confidence after turning down an opportunity to relocate and lead her own team. Her boss at the time told her to advise him of her next opportunity because he thought she was ready to ascend.
The Wake Up Call
Jan’s wake up call came when she found herself alone after her business partner decided she wanted out of their new venture. She thought that she had needed a partner, but realized she could handle all the risks necessary.
Style of Leadership
Jan is a connector, a leader who influences people and brings them together. She uses her networks to help people to help other people.
Current Leadership Challenge
Jan has to remind herself that she needs to work on the business and not in the business. She is currently challenged by her tendency to over-extend herself.
What Are You Excited About?
Aspire Ascend’s new membership service for executive women leaders is what presently excites Jan.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Jan’s husband has always been her biggest supporter.
Leadership Practice
Jan’s ability to connect with people is her most treasured leadership practice.
Book to Develop Leadership
Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy
BRAG!: Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It by Peggy Klaus
Advice For Younger Self
“Get a mentor earlier. Someone who is a superior and not a friend!”
Inspirational Quote
“I am a thought leader.” - Jan Molino
Links
Website: www.aspire-ascend.com
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janmolino
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AspireAscend
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aspire.ascend/
Google +: https://plus.google.com/107950323524449969251
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aspireascend/
Email: Jan@aspire-ascend.com
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Alexis Robin is the Co-Founder of pLink Coaching Center for Excellence, an executive coaching firm specializing in leadership and organizational development at the individual and collective level. She is a published author of Leap of Faith, Cultivating Your Brave Heart, and radio host of The Bright Side, A Life Coaching Radio Show.
When she’s not working, you can find Alexis at her home in Lake Tahoe, California, snowboarding, stand-up paddling, and enjoying the great outdoors with her French husband and 11-year-old twins.
Playing Small Moment
Bravery is one of Alexis’s highest values, so to be called out for shrinking away on stage was an eye opener for her. She suddenly realized that she used to shrink away a lot. She wasn’t considering just how much she really brought to the table.
The Wake Up Call
While working with her clients, Alexis realized how many talented people still carried the burden of self-doubt. This prompted her to examine her own self-doubt and to realize that it wasn’t about her. She needed to be present for her clients and not worried about herself.
Style of Leadership
Alexis says her style of leadership is about setting clear direction and intention. She focuses on what she wants to create instead of what she wants to stop from happening. She adds that sharing ‘why’ you are asking something of someone can make all the difference.
Current Leadership Challenge
Getting the word out about what her organization is doing and how it is different than other coaching companies is Alexis’ biggest business opportunity.
What Are You Excited About?
Alexis and her partners are excited about a new, visually stunning webinar series she is developing for her Positive Leader Journey program called Think pLink webinars.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Alexis has a great support system within her organization as well as at home. She says everyone around her shares her same vision and values.
Leadership Practice
Sharing her intention when she asks for something is Alexis’s best leadership practice.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
“Don’t spend time trying to prove yourself to people. The most valuable mentors and friends don’t need convincing.”
Inspirational Quote
“Trust the process of life. Sometimes life goes wrong in your favor.” ~ Alexis Robin
Links
http://plinkcoachingcenter.com
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com
Dr. Jamie Orr is a successful entrepreneur, physicist, and educator with expertise across a wide range of technical fields. She is passionate about helping young companies and students alike to thrive and discover their potential. She is a co-founder of Mountain Lab, Lake Tahoe's first co-working space and innovation hub. Jamie also teaches courses in physics, mathematics, chemistry, and green sustainable education, and consults in the areas of economic development, entrepreneurship, and education.
Playing Small Moment
Jamie was crushed when an advisor in her department didn’t show up for the faculty meeting, which would have helped her along in becoming a Ph.D. candidate. After the initial sting wore off, she decided she would move away from Physics and into the study of law. She was accepted into six different law schools before being persuaded back into the Physics program.
The Wake Up Call
Jamie’s wake up call came almost a year after her daughter was born. Jamie and her husband were going through photos and realized most of their happiness came from their visits to Lake Tahoe―not from Silicon Valley. So, they just packed up and moved to Lake Tahoe.
Style of Leadership
Jamie likes to lead by teaching people and by working in collaboration with them. She wants the people around her to reach their potential and to accomplish things.
Current Leadership Challenge
Jamie needs to give herself permission to say no, because she realizes she may experience burnout if she doesn’t take time for herself.
What Are You Excited About?
Jamie is excited to be integrating the concepts of physics into her community projects.
What Does Your Business Support System Look Like?
Jamie has a balanced team of business partners and family who inspire her and amaze her every single day.
Leadership Practice
Jamie is a teacher by nature and she believes in elevating those around her.
Book to Develop Leadership
Advice For Younger Self
“Failure is an opportunity to try a different direction. So, don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Inspirational Quote
“Be kinder than is necessary because you never know what someone else is going through.” ~ Jamie Orr
Links
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamieforr
Find more resources at https://womentakingthelead.com