Hello everyone and thank you for joining me today. As of the day of this recording I am 2 months away from my Spartan race. I have kept to my nutrition plan and I have amped up my workouts but I’m still a little bit nervous.
This Saturday I’ll be going with my sister and brother-in-law into Boston for a special 2-hour training put on by Spartan Races. I get a little nervous thinking about that too but it’s all good.
Having chatted with family members over the weekend about the upcoming race it was clear to me that I was one feeling the most nervous and unprepared for what was to come and it reminded me of a blog post I wrote a few years ago about not feeling successful.
There is a big difference between being successful and feeling successful. When my clients don’t feel successful they don’t really care that they are achieving success. They have got to feel it for it to mean anything to them.
I’m guessing you go through this as well. That being the case here are some reasons why when other people describe you and I as successful we feel like a fraud.
Have You Documented Your Goals and Milestones?
If you don’t mark where you started how will you know how far you’ve come? If you don’t know exactly where you are going and the different milestones you’ll pass on the way, how will you know if you need to course-correct, or pick up the pace?
You have nothing to measure your progress against. Every accomplishment lacks meaning and gets swallowed up by the next thing on the list.
If you haven’t documented goals and milestones then you’re also not likely celebrating your smaller victories along the way. Acknowledging and celebrating small wins will give you momentum to keep going.
If you can’t recognize a small win and take the time to celebrate it then it was just something that should have been done anyway.
I can’t stress this enough: have documented goals and create all the milestones along the way to achieving that goal. Celebrate the passing of each milestone.
Do You Keep Comparing Yourself to Someone Else?
No matter how much we achieve there is going to be someone who is further ahead or doing something uniquely different from what we are doing.
That’s their journey. You are on yours. There are reasons why we choose the goals we choose, why we choose the timeline and the plan for achieving those goals and they are uniquely our own.
Chances are if we were to trade places with those people we momentarily envy we would be unhappy. We would be dissatisfied because there would be something important missing or a sacrifice made that would have compromised our values.
Your mission is to live your best life and leave others to live theirs.
You Are So Overworked and Overwhelmed, What Is There To Feel Good About?
Someday you’re going to wake up and wonder where all the time went. You’ll wonder why you were not happy even though you had a good life.
If you are thinking now I’m going to tell you to stop striving to be wildly successful think again. It’s not the striving for success that is making you feel dissatisfied. It’s how you are striving that is stealing the joy of your achievements.
How many times have you heard that it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. If you are unhappy with how your journey is going then you need to take a different perspective on the journey.
Pay attention to the conversations you have, with yourself and with others, about the work you are doing, the progress your business is making, what you are and are not getting done, and the people you interact with regularly.
If the conversations don’t lift you up then something must change.
Being successful doesn’t mean much if you don’t feel successful as well. Allow yourself to see your progress and celebrate all the accomplishments, big and small. Appreciate that you are on your own journey that is going to be different from everyone else’s, and if striving for success feels like a burden seek an objective observer to gain some perspective so you can identify what is stealing your energy and joy.
If you haven’t already done so, invest the money to take my self-assessment to pinpoint exactly what is causing you to have to work so hard to be and to feel successful.
If you’d like to add anything, or list another cause of feeling unsuccessful, I’m sure the Women Taking the Lead community would be very appreciative! Just add your suggestion into the comment section below.
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Thank you so much, and here’s to your being and FEELING successful!
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