Hello everyone. Thank you for joining me! Here we are kicking off the week of Valentine’s Day. We are celebrating one of my favorite things: LOVE!
Remember this holiday is not only about romantic love. Although I do have a goal to be in partnership this year, this day is intended to bring our attention and awareness to all the relationships in which we share love; that could be family members, friends, colleagues, team members, you name it.
Be sure to spread the love this week as a kickoff to showing appreciation and gratitude for those you love throughout the year.
I had a few experiences recently in which I felt loved in this community and in the work that I do. In one day I received emails from three different women in this community and let me tell you, I felt tightness in my chest and had watery eyes with each one.
I got permission to share their emails on the podcast because I thought what they shared might be helpful to you as well.
The first one was from Karen.
“Hi Jodi! I have been on fire since completing the tolerations detox. Still much to be done, but I am blasting through barriers!
My New Year’s resolution is 4 words... be good to yourself. :)
Thanks for all you do! Please feel free to use me as a reference or testimonial!
Have a great weekend!”
That was pretty sweet and then this email from Kathy came within the hour:
“Guess what?! I finally put on my big girl pants and decided to face my financial distraction. Knowing my credit is in bad shape, I neglect viewing my credit report. I finally did it! And while yes my credit score is bad, it's a pretty small amount of money to clean it up! I felt both ashamed and encouraged when I realized that and made a plan to tackle it! Yeah!”
In my response I did address with Kathy the shame piece. With so much progress why feel ashamed? I suggested she focus on the feeling of relief that her credit score could be easily restored and she agreed that felt much better.
Lastly I received this email from Ashley and I want to use this to springboard the topic for today:
“I feel really different lately. Not quite what I would call enlightened, but I've definitely turned a corner. I feel GRACEFUL! :D
I don't put my foot in my mouth - as much. ;)
I have patience; I’m grateful, calm when needed, though I’m still so full of energy! I take time to really focus on people when they speak to me. I find myself making sure I’ve worded the email correctly before i just hit send, all willy-nilly.
I feel like I can see how my love and light are touching the hearts of the people I interact with. I’m having deep conversations with strangers - well, rather than, ‘this weather sucks’, it’s more like, ‘I love how we get time to slow down when it snows!’
I remember back when I started on this path, 18ish months ago. I wrote something in an email to you about how I wanted to be like you. And you responded that I already was. I couldn’t see then what you meant, but now I do. Greatness is in all of us! We've just been told that we weren't good at x, or we failed at z, and are subconsciously afraid to try it again.
I'm not sure what exactly I'm trying to say here. I have this question... I might as well share it; maybe you're the person who can answer it??
What is the simplest way to get someone from not seeing how wonderful they are to realizing their true potential?
Ha! That is such a big question. And I'd venture a guess that the answer is different for all of us.
I've noticed that being present is pretty important. Maybe it's #1.
You're tapped into this line of thought... What are your thoughts on the subject?”
Oh Ashley, you just hit on the work that I do. This is exactly the journey I take my clients on; from not seeing themselves to recognizing and owning how amazing and talented they already are. From there, their relationships begin to change in a good way. And they begin leaning into and leveraging all they’ve been blessed with so they don’t have to work so hard to find their success.
However, to Ashley’s question, she is asking how she can do this for others and I’m guessing you probably have some people in your life that you wish would just realize they are already amazing so they can stop holding themselves back. What can you do to help these people?
This was my response to Ashley’s email:
“The answer I have to your question, "What is the simplest way to get someone from not seeing how wonderful they are to realizing their true potential?” is modeling and reflecting back.
You can't make a person see themselves any way in which they are not ready to see. However, rather than getting frustrated with them or trying to manipulate them to change (which would be coming from a place of judging them unfavorably) you interact with their highest self in all situations.
That's what you picked up on in our first interaction. I don't interact with the person who says she is confused, I interact with the being who is on a quest for answers. And that is what you are seeing in yourself now.
I am you and you are me. If I am seeing lack in another it's because I see the lack in myself and cannot tolerate it. When I am able to celebrate myself for the being I am, however I am, I can celebrate others for the being they are, however they are. You are fabulous, even when you are cranky. ;)”
You and I have heard this before but it bears hearing many times: we cannot make other people change; we can only control our own behavior. Furthermore, another person is less likely to change if they feel like we need them to change in order to find them more acceptable.
Think back on your own experiences when you may have felt that you were judged and found lacking by another person. How motivated were you to change for them? Depending on who it was you may have made an attempt but probably couldn’t sustain it because it wasn’t motivated by an internal desire for growth.
It’s hard enough to make changes to our behavior even when we want to change. Think of all the New Year’s resolutions you couldn’t sustain because it was too hard or you didn’t really, really, really, really want to make the change.
Now consider how hard it is to change because someone else wants us to. The desire and the motivation are not strong enough.
However, I do recall times when another person consistently treated me with admiration and respect. I could tell in every interaction they saw something in me I didn’t quite see yet but I wanted to. And with enough contact with these people I eventually did.
You almost can’t help it. When someone treats you that way and sees you as perfect you find yourself living up to expectations. When you see what’s possible in yourself you start to explore that uncharted territory to become more familiar with it. Eventually it is so natural to you that you wonder that you didn’t see it before.
If you want others to see themselves the way you see them (as wonderful) you must consistently reflect back to them through your words, body language, tone and behavior how wonderful they are.
Don’t be put off if they try to deny it or test you on your stance. Some people want to know for sure if you are being genuine and they will act out to see if you stay consistent. They may not even be aware they are doing this.
And some people, through their past experience, have a hard time trusting others. They may openly display their distrust of your motives and even say something to you about it. They’ve been burnt and have a hard time believing anyone would be nice to them without wanting something from them.
I’ve had people become visibly upset and even openly hostile because I was being too nice to them.
Don’t let them put you off. If you see something wonderful in another, it’s there. Keep gently reflecting it back to them.
Just know they won’t change until they can see it for themselves and that they have to do on their own.
Keep modeling for them a person who sees wonder within themselves and wonder within other people. You need to be the role model for others to see what’s possible.
This situation will show up in all areas and levels of leadership: at work, at home, within friendships, volunteering and participation in other organizations you choose to join.
I know many of you are in various stages of your own journey of personal development, higher consciousness, and spirituality – whatever you want to name it. If ever you want to share your experience or ask a question, reach out! I love talking about this stuff!
And if you want to supercharge your journey I’m going to encourage you to join The Accomplished Intensive.
The Accomplished Intensive is a program designed to help you see and own who you truly are at your core and then make the changes in your external environment so you are living in alignment with who you really are.
When this happens you are suddenly moving quickly toward accomplishing everything you dreamed about.
It sounds airy-fairy I know but I have witnessed this process time and again. I have seen my clients go from being worn out, overworked, sick of having their nights and weekends eaten up with work to having the systems and relationships in place that allow work to come to them and be completed with less effort.
My clients experience less stress and have more free time for their health, hobbies, vacations, whatever they want to also be spending time on.
If you are curious about The Accomplished Intensive go to womentakingthelead.com/intensive. This program is starting February 20 so if this sounds like what you’ve been looking for and you want to join me and other ambitious go-getting women who also want more joy and freedom in their life, register and let’s get started. Go to womentakingthelead.com/intensive
As always I hope this was helpful to you and here’s to your success!
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